first of all, if my granny hadn't purchased a plot for my dad, i would have walked away from lakeview in longview last week. i don't have any patience for bad customer service. i am a customer service manager. i have worked in customer service for a long time. it is not acceptable to not return two emails and a phone call to someone who needs to purchase something because they will purchase what they need from somewhere else. are you so busy you don't want my money? not acceptable. i emailed them twice last week (a specific person who gave me their business card when i came by) and he never emailed me back. i called saturday and the receptionist was very kind but unable to help me. turns out i needed to talk to the person who wouldn't email my back. she promised he'd call me right back and he never did. i called yesterday because he still hadn't called me and again, too busy for me. he finally called me back and was like, when would you like to set up an appointment to come in? um, excuse me? did they not pass along the message that my dad is in hospice care. he can't be left alone. i cant just drive over to longview. so he says, ok, how does your schedule look for monday? monday? really? 5 days from now? do you know how long 5 days are in my world? so he says, well, i can come by tomorrow afternoon and I'll come to you. ok deal.
well he calls this morning. he is not licensed to sell things in louisiana so he can't bring the paperwork here for me to sign, i would have to cross over state lines to sign it or i can work with one of his partner funeral homes over here. i said, excuse me, what paperwork? lets back this train up. i have been trying to get in contact with you for a week. i am 26 (and i know i sound like a little girl on the phone). i have never planned a funeral before. we need to discuss options and prices before there is any paperwork for anything. what a racket that is.
dads still hanging in here. hes been mostly coherent. today he seems really with it. after the nurse left this afternoon he told me he wanted to talk to me later. i told him we should talk now and asked him what's up. he asked me "how did all this happen?". I explained to him that he was in hospice care because the hospital couldn't do anything else for him. he said, yea, i know that. i told him we're staying at home with him because he's not strong enough to be on his own. i told him they don't think he has much time left. he said he had kinda put that together. he asked how kyle and i ended up doing this. i told him we were worried about him and that we could hire a sitter but we thought he would rather us be there. he asked if craig and i still had our house and i said yes, we go home at night but that craig was in vermont now. i told him everythings fine. i asked him if he was scared. he said he's been scared. i asked why he was scared. he said he was scared of dying. i asked why he was scared. he will get to go to heaven. he told me i should go back and see bre (who had just brought me lunch). i said, no, no. its ok. i told him i don't get to talk to him much because he doesn't always make sense.
i told him id been talking to lakeview. i asked him if he wanted to be there. he just said i dont know. i told him he would be next to granny cherry. he just said we'd talk later. to go see bre.
i also asked if there was anyone he'd been wanting to see or talk to. he said "i don't know". i try to reassure him that he doesn't have to worry about kyle and i, that we would be ok. he said he worries about us a lot. the most. i told him he doesn't have to. i tried to tell him how kyle is really stepping up. monday, our nurse was getting ready to go home and it was her last day with us doing continuous care. she was going to help us change the sheets and brittany hadn't got back with some new sheets yet. she had just walked out when brittany got back. i asked brittany if the nurse had left. she said yes. i said, no, did she physically pull out of the driveway yet? she said no and i said, go grab her, she was supposed to help us change the sheets. kyle was like, its ok, its ok, we got this. its ok. i was really shocked. im the one supposed to be keeping us from freaking out, right? he came up and gave me a hug and was like, don't worry, we're going to get through this. it really shocked me.
the nurse asked me earlier this week if there was someone dad was waiting on. she said he's really hanging on. he has such bad days. i mean, unable to swallow, completely unresponsive, staring off into space, bad days. but then he has days like to day where he's awake and making sense and able to understand conversations and drink on his own (from a sippy cup). she says hes fighting. hes holding on for something. i just don't want it to be because he's worried about us.
i can feel all the prayers. i havent freaked out since craig left. ive been pretty calm and together all week. i cried a little today talking to dad, but other than that ive been ok. thank you all. thank you for the meals and the coffee and the texts and the facebook comments. even if i dont reply, i read them all. i also eventually listen to the voicemails. some calls i really don't get because i have horrible cell signal here, so i don't answer. im glad that you called but i dont always want to talk. im still exhausted all the time. patrick has a cat over here where dad is staying and im allergic to cats. combine that with all the dust and the remodeling and i sneeze and my nose runs all day. when i take a zyrtec it gives me a sinus headache. all the sneezing and the stress and the poor diet and poor sleep will be catching up with me soon.
craig is in vermont. im glad he's getting to see his family and spend some time in the cooler weather but i wish i was there. i love his family. and i like spending time up there. and im sad that i'm missing his brother's wedding. and i miss having craig here with me. sounds like everythings going smooth up there though.
i finished my "scarf" last night though! its too short to really be a scarf, but i dont know how to add more yarn when i run out yet so i just finished it off. it has a few mistakes at the beginning when i was still learning but the last 2/3 of it a great. its easy. i figured out how to cast off (take the yarn off the needles and end the stitching) by looking up a technique online that sounded like what lori told me to do. turned out good. im ready to start a new one, i just need to get over to the store and get some yarn and possibly some more needles. i really want to make a swing jacket or shrug but i don't know how to read patterns, haha. guess i'll make another scarf for now. maybe even a real scarf this time! now that i have the hang of it it shouldn't take me long to make another one.
ive been going through all kinds of pictures to find some good ones of dad. heres a few for me to leave you with:
i just realized dad's wearing some sort of plaid in all of these pics. guess we know what he likes!
by the way, thats one of him, one of him and my mom when they were young, and one of my grandpa, dad and brother in 2005.
No comments:
Post a Comment