Gummy Bear: 33 Weeks

Gummy Bear: 33 Weeks!

Baby is: running out of wiggle room. Should be in the 4lb range, but it's been a while since I've had an ultrasound.

Cravings: Nothing

Aversions: Nothing really here either. I still don't prefer to eat meat by itself, but I'm doing better with it.

Drinking: Water, Milk, V8 V Fusion & Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Clothes: Comfy! Mostly pants and t shirts.

Gender: It's a girl! Full steam ahead on the hairbows, headbands and ruffly bloomers!

What I miss: Not having to wake up so many times to pee. Being able to take NyQuil!

What I’m looking forward to: My shower tomorrow!

I'm on day 7 of a cold. Really ready for it to pass. The most miserable parts are behind me, but I still have the lingering stuffy nose and coughing. And tiredness. But that's probably more than just the cold. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, for sure!

In other news, I've spent a good deal of time the past few weeks trying to find/arrange for a birth class. At my last midwife appt (about 4 weeks ago), I asked her about classes. According to all the apps, it was time for us to look into taking one. She gave me the name of the person who usually does their birth classes. I waited a week or two but finally called her to see what she had available (pet peeve: people without online calendars). She asked when my due date was, said she didn't have anything planned right now and planned to be out of town a lot in October. She would check her schedule and let me know what/if she was able to work anything out. She said she didn't even have anyone to recommend me to because no one else she knew was offering classes right now. Well good. I was hopeful that we'd be able to work something out, but then I never got a call or email from her. I called her on Wednesday and left her a message and still haven't heard back. It looks like that's a no-go.

I had a lead for another potential class, but the person was almost 2 hours from me. Not very practical for a two day class. I talked to the instructor though. She said if I could get some more interest, I could host the class. That doesn't really thrill me either. I could also do a private "condensed" class with her, for the same amount as a two day class, but with a private class fee added. More money, less class. *Sigh*

So I went back to my midwife and explained my dilemma. She said I wasn't the only one needing a class and that she would look at hosting one at the birth center. Awesome. My problems have been solved! But then she posted on Facebook that she was looking at hosting one between October 15 and Thanksgiving. Uh, my due date is November 8. I emailed her to remind her and encourage her to do it as close to October 15 as she could. She wrote back that she has several births scheduled at the beginning of October so she wouldn't be able to host it until the middle of the month at the earliest but that she was looking at October 26. Yikes. I'll be 38 weeks then. Like, she'll be on call for my birth then. She said she was still trying to look for some options for me though. Then she emailed me about someone hosting a class tomorrow, which I can't go to because of my shower. The only Saturday between now and my birth that I can't make it. I wrote her back to tell her this Saturday is a no-go and so is Sunday October 6 because of my shower that day. I asked if she had any recommendations on books or DVDs or something. I, at this point, don't think a birth class is in the cards for me. I mean, I could see what some of the local hospitals have available, but even the doctors in the hospitals tell their patients the classes aren't worth taking. Plus, I'm not sure they would really help me have a natural child birth. I guess it would be better than absolutely nothing though. I don't know.

But this has really made me think- what do I need out of a birth class? You know what I've realized over the past few weeks?

I am not afraid of labor.

I'm not. I'm not afraid of the pain. I'm not afraid of the delivery. I have a peace about it. I just know, it's going to be ok. I'm going to be ok. Lorelai is going to be ok. I don't have any anxiety about it. It is what it is. It's going to hurt. It's going to be hard. I'm not going to want people asking me a ton of questions. But I'm not afraid.

But, that IS what worries me. Like there has to be something I'm missing. Something I'm not understanding about the labor and delivery process. I want to be able to talk it through somebody. I want to know how to cope with the pain. I want Craig to feel confident to help me through the tough times instead of asking "what do you need?". I want to know what I could be doing now to help prepare my body for labor. I want to feel prepared because I know what's going to/could happen, not just because I feel at peace with the process.

It seems careless to just assume "it's going to be fine, women have been doing this for thousands of years". They have. And a lot of women have died during childbirth. And the culture was SO much different than it used to be. People don't talk about birth anymore. Americans are scared of childbirth. We don't have the support of a house full of women who have all had children to help us through. The general public doesn't know how to get through a natural childbirth. I was born via c-section. My mom couldn't have helped me. My grandmothers have been gone for a long time. Most all my friends have had epidurals, if not c-sections. There are times when I definitely feel alone in this. And I know I have my friends for love and support, but not necessarily advice. I don't like feeling like I just have to figure out out. There has to be an easier way. I know I like to do things my own way, but I don't want to do it at the expense of making labor any harder than it's going to be. And I can read all the books and websites and watch all the DVDs, but there's nothing like sitting down and talking to someone who has been there.

Gummy Bear 30 1/2 Weeks

Gummy Bear: 30 1/2 weeks

Baby is: measuring 1 lb, 14 oz, putting her in the 36th percentile, as of 27 weeks. She should be closer to the 2-3 pound range according to all the apps now.

Cravings: Nothing pregnancy related. I would prefer to have a (decaf) Pumpkin Spice Latte within arms reach at all times though. God bless Starbucks, haha

Aversions: There are still things that don't sound good, but for the most part I'm ok. I ate brisket and deviled eggs yesterday and both tasted good.

Drinking: Water, Milk & Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Clothes: Comfy! Mostly pants and t shirts. I like wearing dresses, but they don't provide much belly support.

Gender: It's a girl! Full steam ahead on the hairbows, headbands and ruffly bloomers!

What I miss: Being able to move more easily

What I’m looking forward to: Wrapping up the last trimester! And my showers!

Went to see the doctor & midwife last week. Baby's heartbeat sounds good. I asked them both if some babies just aren't as active as others because I don't feel her move a whole lot. And when I do, it's just for a second. The doctor said she does have a slower heartbeat, so she probably is just chilling in there. I also have my fat layer and the anterior placenta cushioning her. Plus she's on the smaller side. All that combined means I just don't feel her like most people can feel theirs. However, she knew I was talking about her and has been a lot more active since then. Then Friday I inadvertently ordered regular, not decaf, at Starbucks. She was wiggling up a storm Friday! I even felt her kick and could distinguish that it was her foot. It was creepy! I know it's supposed to be beautiful and all, but I think it's weird that there's a living human inside my stomach. I have trouble wrapping my head around that. It's fascinating. But super weird. Now that she's getting bigger and I can feel her move more it really weirds me out.

The first time they took my blood pressure at the doctors office it was elevated so they had me lay down then they retook it and it was fine. There was no protein in my urine so they weren't worried about it. She said I should be thinking about taking it easy at work though. She has NO idea. It really doesn't get easier than I have it. For a long time my job was super high stress. Like not healthy at all stressful. But since the buy out, things have settled down and there's still plenty of work to do, but the atmosphere is so much different. I'm definitely not feeling stress from work. She mentioned that in Europe most women take off work for the month before they have the baby. Umm... no thanks. I'm pretty sure women is Europe are also paid to do that. I would not be. As much as I like the idea of sleeping in and not having to get dressed to come to work, that's not very practical. Short of her putting me on bedrest, I'll probably be sitting at my desk when I go into labor, haha.

And I hadn't really had any other stress. We hosted a baby shower the night before for a couple in my Sunday School group who is adopting a little boy. But that was fun, not stressful. The more I thought about it, I may not have been feeling stressed, but I had probably stressed my body. I hadn't had much sleep the past several days. Lots of late nights cleaning the house or hanging out with friends. Was definitely not getting enough sleep. I think that probably contributed to it.

So I told her I'd start trying to take weekends off. I'm sure she thought I meant work, but I meant from all my stuff. I cannot sit still. I always want to be going and doing. Errands to run, people to see, projects to work on. Go, go, go. All the time. So I've been trying to take it easy at home. Not making us run a million errands. Not trying to clean everything myself. Not finding things to do. I knew I needed something to keep me sedentary and I don't have the attention span to read right now, so I picked up some yarn for a baby blanket. I've never made anything that big, but I figured, how hard can it be? Luckily the yarn I picked up has fluffy pieces on it, so it hides mistakes. You also can't see the stitching so I'm just using a regular garter stitch so it comes together quickly and I don't have to think too much about what I'm doing (am I on knit or pearl?). I picked up a few stitches it looks like, but hey, it'll be soft and warm and I don't think it will matter to Lorelai. I did have to pick up some circular needles though. I'd never used them before. They're still a little awkward to hold sometimes, but it's cool to see the big piece of knitting all stretched out on them. And hey, it keeps me sitting down.

I told the midwife about my doctor's visit and when she took my blood pressure, the top number was higher than when I was at the doctor, but my bottom number was lower. Apparently, the bottom one is more important to her, so she was happy, but echoed the need to prevent it from becoming a problem. She had a few herbs and supplements she wanted me to start taking as well as a list of ways to combat high blood pressure in the third trimester. The first thing she gave me is this herbal spray called Mama Calm. It has Motherwort, Lemon Balm, Lavender, Chamomile and Skullcap in it and it tastes horrible. Then she has me taking Cal-Mag with Citrate, Hops, and Choline. That's fine. Grabbed all of that and have been taking it since the appt.

However, the list of suggestions to "combat high blood pressure" was a little much. It seems to be from the same people who publish the Brewer diet, which is number one on the list. It's basically the pregnancy version of a high protein, low carb diet. However, the daily recommendations of things you should be eating is extensive. I decided early on that it would not be practical for me to try to follow it. The next suggestion was to eat a protein snack EVERY HOUR I'M AWAKE and to set a timer to remind myself. Excuse me? I would literally never eat anything but protein because I would never be hungry enough for a meal, knowing I'd just have to eat again in 30 minutes. No fruits and veggies. That's not healthy. Plus, if I'm supposed to be taking it easy, wouldn't it be stressful to have to stop what you're doing every hour because a timer went off and you had to eat? I would be so irritated. Then the final suggestion that gave me a good laugh was to keep protein by the bed and eat EVERY TIME I WAKE UP. So now, not only do I have to pee 3-4 times a night, but I have to stay up to eat something too? I don't think so. She scratched off a few recommendations she didn't want me to follow. One of them was to increase your calorie intake to 3000-4000 calories per day. What exactly will eating around the clock do? How am I supposed to eat all the time and not increase my calorie intake? So I decided to keep my diet in tact. It's working for me. I'm healthy. I'm not gaining a ton of weight. In fact, I lost a pound at my last doctor visit so I've only gained 4 total pounds. So unless my blood pressure becomes more of an issue, I'm going to keep on keeping on and see how all these supplements help. I definitely don't want to add stress because I'm worried about eating all the time. I worry about that enough without having to make sure I'm checking off a list of things I'm supposed to be eating every day. I go see the doctor again next week and we can take it from there!