There and back again...the tale of Lorelai

Well if you're reading this, you probably already know that Lorelai is here. What you don't know is what it took to get her here. So here's our story (and I didn't sugar coat it, but hopefully you expect that from me)...

Lorelai was due Friday November 8. Only 4-5% of babies are born on their due date. I never ever ever would have thought she would be born on her due date. Not only because of that statistic, but because of my weight. Overweight women obviously have more fat cells and fat cells store estrogen and the more estrogen you have, the longer it takes for your body to go into labor. From the very beginning, I knew she was going to be late.

Friday morning at midnight I woke up needing to go to the bathroom. Nothing unusual. But I was feeling some pain. I assumed I was uncomfortable and may be having some gas too. I went back to sleep but woke up again at 1 AM. More pain. About 1:30, I decided I was having contractions and should probably start timing them. The first one I timed was 51 seconds long. The next one happened 9 minutes later and lasted for 55 seconds. Ok. Looks like these are significant. It was clear I wasn't going to be able to sleep so I got up. They started out slow, but there was a build up that got a little painful. Nothing I couldn't deal with though. I double checked the note from my midwife: call her when contractions are under 10 min apart and over 30 seconds long. It may not be "it", but it could be. I needed something to do. What does any fat girl do while she's timing contractions in the middle of the night? Start making sausage balls, of course. So I started mixing them up and got two trays in the oven. Though they were inconsistent, my contractions were all around 10 min apart. I thought we should at least give the midwife a heads up. I went to wake Craig at 3:30. I told him I thought we should call the midwife because I had been having contractions. He was very confused. He asked what I had been doing and I told him "making sausage balls". He said, "are you pulling my leg right now?" No! I showed him my timer app. I reiterated that I thought we should call the midwife. He said, well, I need to take a shower! I was like, it doesn't mean we're going to see her, it's just to give her a heads up. He still wanted to take a shower first. Ok honey. I went back to my sausage balls.

After Craig took his shower, we finally called the midwife around 4 AM. Charlotte, my midwife, told me to call her back if anything changed and if they spread out to around 15 minutes apart to try to get some sleep because I would need it. Ok. I told Craig I wanted to go up to my office. It was supposed to be my last day of work so I had a few loose ends to tie up but I didn't want to be timing contractions at work. Plus I hadn't slept all night. Craig took me up to my office so I could take care of the last minute items I had on my plate, sent a few emails to co-workers and my boss, and said goodbye to work until next year.

Before we got home, my brother texted us. He's been staying with us and while we were gone, the dog woke him up barking. He sent a text to see if we were ok. We were pulling into the driveway so I went in and got back to my sausage balls. Kyle came out of his room and said "Don't you people ever sleep?" We filled him in. He asked if he should call into work and we told him no, that this could go on for a while and I assured him that we'd still be there when he got off work. Craig decided to stay home with me though, just in case, so around 6 he called in sick. My contractions were around 13-14 minutes apart by then so I decided to try and get some sleep.

I dozed off and on from 6-8. Word was starting to spread so the texts had started coming in. I focused on resting as much as possible. I fell back asleep around 10:30 for another hour. Craig slept too, but he slept until like 2. I was getting restless. The contractions were getting more intense and losing their "build up". Unfortunately they weren't getting any more regular. Sometimes 6 minutes apart, sometimes 13. Super frustrating. I was hungry and convinced Craig to take me to IHOP. Got some food in me and came back and got in bed. Waiting, waiting, waiting. From 9:30-10:30, all the contractions were less than 10 minutes apart, sometimes 3 minutes, sometimes 8 minutes. No consistency. We decide to call the midwife at 10. She tells us to time for 30 more minutes and give her a call. At 10:30 she tells us to head over to the birth center. It's finally go time!

We arrive at the birth center around 11. Kyle follows us over. Bre and Laci meet us there. My contractions are pretty painful at this point. I no longer care about how far apart they are. Not my problem anymore, haha. We finally make it to midnight Saturday. Lorelai had officially missed her due date.

For the next 7 hours, I labor at the birth center. The midwife checks me around 12:30. She says I'm dilated to a 3 or 4 and completely effaced, which she says is a big deal for a first time mom. I Google what it means because I have no idea. I am in serious pain. She doesn't want to let me get into the birth tub until I'm dilated to a 6. So I lay in bed in the birthing room. Nothing provides any relief. I think about all the techniques I read about, all the birth stories I read. I think about women who say bending over or being on their knees helped. I think about women who say they walked through the pain. I think about women who swayed or rocked through the pain. Nothing helps, not even a little. It's just relentless pain. Around 5 AM, Charlotte checks me and says I'm at a 5 and that she'll let me get in the birth tub for 2 hours. She's a little concerned about my blood pressure and things the tub may help. She said if I don't dilate and if it doesn't bring my blood pressure down, we're going to have to talk about transporting to the hospital.

I'm ecstatic about being able to get in the birth tub because I'm convinced this is the magical pain relief I've been waiting on. I climb in and do feel instant relief. The first contraction comes. Much better. Then the second...ok, that hurts more. By the 3rd or 4th contraction, they hurt just as bad as they did out of the water. I try leaning over the side. Nope. Not helping. I try to just focus on how good it feels between contractions to be in the water. I'm miserable. I get out of the tub and go sit with Craig on a lounger. I'm exhausted. I just want this to be over. Charlotte comes to get me shortly after. My blood pressure did go down some, but I'm still at a 5. I think this is never going to be over. While I was in the tub, Charlotte received the results of the 24 hour urinalysis she had me do earlier in the week. My protein is a little above normal. She's concerned about keeping me at the birth center in case I need treatment after birth. She tells me we need to call my doctor and head back to Shreveport. I am too exhausted to care.

We call Willis Knighton and find out my doctor is not on call. Again, I'm too tired to care. I just want it to be over. Charlotte encourages me to eat something on the way since I won't be able to eat when I get to the hospital. We drive through McDonalds and I order a smoothie and some oatmeal but only get the smoothie down. I'm having really intense contractions on the drive to Shreveport. Miserable. Tired. We finally get to the hospital and walk into labor and delivery. I'm trying to explain to them that we're transporting from a birth center and that my midwife is on the way but that I'm one of Dr. Bellmann's patients. I have no desire to talk to anyone and have a hard time getting out sentences. They finally realize and start barraging Craig with questions. I tell them I'm dilated to a 5 and they have me put on a gown so they can check me. The nurses decide I'm only a 3. Great. I've regressed. Awesome. However, they check my chart and luckily Dr. Bellman had put in a note for them to call her directly if I came in. I'm thankful. It sounds like I don't have to have a stranger deliver the baby.

The nurses come back after they talk to the Dr. They tell me I have 3 options. I'm in no mood for 3 options. The only option I care about is getting the baby out. They explain to me that I'm not "technically" in labor and that if I had come in off the street they wouldn't admit me. Excuse me?! Not in labor?! Look you can call if what you want, but I've been having contractions for 30 or 31 hours now. I'm in terrible pain. Don't tell me I'm not in labor. Luckily Charlotte comes in. I'm looking to her for clarification. I don't understand what the crazy people are saying. Charlotte had told me there were pain medicines they could give me by IV. That sounded fabulous! Sign me up! They decide to start me on an IV of Demerol and phenegren. Then depending on how I progressed, they would start Pitocin. The Demerol knocks me out. However, it has NO effect on the contractions. Now I can barely focus on anything between contractions. I live in this painful world where all that exists are contractions. I have an IV in one hand, a blood pressure cuff on my other arm and a pulse oximeter on my finger. I literally just keep thinking, this is never going to end. This is my world for the next 6 hours or so.

Charlotte and her assistant Miranda try to coach me through the contractions. I just want to cry. Nothing makes them better. And they start making me be in different positions. They all hurt. No relief. I'm vaguely aware of Kyle, Bre, and Laci. I reach out for Craig's hand, or anyone else, when I have contractions to feel a connection to something besides pain. I keep thinking about the book I read to prepare me for labor. There's a chapter called "The Compassionate Use of Drugs and Epidurals". Two hours in a row they have checked me and I've dilated 1 cm during each of those hours. I feel like it's still going to take 3 or 4 hours to get to 10. I can't do this anymore. I tell Charlotte I can't do it. She tells me she thinks I can. Everyone around me is being so good and so encouraging. They tell me I'm doing a great job. I just want to cry. I just cannot handle anymore. I decide I want an epidural. I need something to relieve the pain. They tell me it could be 30 minutes before the anesthesiologist gets there. It seems like an eternity. They tell me I have to be absolutely still during the epidural. They have me practice while we wait. I have to internalize the pain to keep from flailing. I'm not sure I can do it.

I'm still not sure, and don't want to know, how they administer an epidural, but it sounded like gravel being ground between the discs in my back. I just kept telling myself, relief is coming! After each contraction, they told me, this could be the last one you feel. I clung to that. I finally laid back down. But I kept feeling contractions! Only now, it was just on the right side of my pelvis. They think the medicine didn't make it's way over so they have me lay on my side. As soon as I roll over, my contraction quickly changes from just pain to having to push. I can't verbalize how I'm feeling. I think someone will notice the change in my breathing. No one seems to. I keep pushing when I feel the overwheling need to. I have to get off my side. I try to tell them. They tell me the doctor will come back and try to adjust my epidural. When he comes back, he asks where I'm feeling them. I want to show him but I'm laying on my side. I can't think of the words to tell him. He asks if it's in my pelvis and I say yes. He tells me the epidural won't help with that, it can only help with pain in my abdomen. No relief. He asks a nurse to check my dilation. 9 1/2. They decided that while I was receiving the epidural, I transitioned. I finally tell them I want to push. They call the doctor.

I have NO interest in waiting for the doctor. I want the baby out and I want her out now. I don't understand why everyone is standing around. I don't want to wait. I want someone to come stand at the end of the bed because I'm getting this baby out. I ask "where is she?!" because she's taking too long. Charlotte tells me to do what my body feels like it needs to do. I push. The doctor finally shows up and they prep me. They tell me that they want me to push for 10 seconds, 3 times, during my next contraction. I remember reading not to do that and think "I'll do what I want" in my head. The contraction comes and I push. They tell me to take a deep breath and keep going. I don't want to. But I do and I feel like the baby is here or pretty close. One or two more pushes and finally, the baby is out. It's over. Thank God it's over. They lay her on my chest. I just so relieved it's over. I look at Craig and he's tearing up. Only then to stop to think about what just happened. We have a baby girl. I focus on Craig. His reaction was the best part to me. I try to take everything else in. I just keep thinking how glad I am that it's over.

So at 3:47 PM on November 9, our baby girl made her entrance. 38 hours after I first started timing contractions. 6 lbs, 5 oz, 19 inches long. Healthy as can be. She's so soft and snuggly. I love that. And I love how Craig is already wrapped around her finger.

I am still physically exhausted from the long labor. My arms and shoulders ache from bracing through contractions. My chest is sore from trying to breathe through them. I know it will take a while to recover from that. And as soon as she was born, my blood pressure dropped down lower than it normally is, so we ended up having nothing to worry about. Since I was healthy and she was healthy, they let us go home yesterday. It felt so good to sleep in my own bed!

So now we're working on getting into our new routine. Nursing has been really challenging, to put it nicely, so we have a Lactation Consultant coming by tomorrow. Then, hopefully, the really hard stuff will be behind us and I can really enjoy her. I'll be glad when the hardest problem I have is only sleeping 3 hours at a time. I have to say, I'm really looking forward to that.

Thank you so much for everyone who has sent us a sweet message or called or texted. We appreciate everyone so much. Thank you for your patience while we focus on us for a little bit. We'll be back in touch with everyone soon :)