Baby is: 6-7 lbs or so. Not much wiggle room. Head down and facing my spine. Dropped a few weeks ago. Taking her sweet time coming to meet us though ;)
Cravings: Sweets! I want cookies or something for dessert like every night. I'm fine during the day but I always want to end the day with a sweet. And milk. Been drinking a lot of milk!
Aversions: Nothing really. Nothing really sounds good, but nothing really grosses me out to think about
Drinking: Water, Milk, V8 V Fusion
Clothes: Comfy! Mostly pants and t shirts.
Gender: It's a girl! Full steam ahead on the hairbows, headbands and ruffly bloomers!
What I miss: My hips/pelvis not hurting.
What I’m looking forward to: My last day of work before maternity leave! 5 more days!
I didn't realize it had been 6 weeks since my last update, but I hadn't updated because everything seemed so monotonous. However, I've learned I should really be thankful for the monotony. It means nothing "bad" has happened.
I made a brief post about my two birth buddies yesterday on Facebook. When we started sharing news that we were expecting, I found out 2 other people were not only expecting, but due the same week I was! All with our first. It's been so nice having two people so close to me, going through the same things at the same time. Two people to compare and contrast with. Two people seeing difference health care providers that we could all compare notes with. Two people who's stories and backgrounds were much different than mine. I never felt alone. I didn't realize until yesterday how comforting that was.
Two and a half weeks ago, my first birth buddy, my sister in law, went in for her routine weekly appointment. She had not been feeling well and was in a lot of (what seemed to me) unrelated to pregnancy pain. Neither of us knew why her arm or her jaw would be hurting. She seemed miserable though. At her appointment, they found out her blood pressure was high and sent her for some tests to see if she had developed preeclampsia. It's pregnancy related high blood pressure. The only "treatment" really is to get the baby out. There's some things you can do to mitigate the problem, but the only solution is to give birth. So they decided to induce her. Her blood pressure was so high that they had to put her on medicine and monitor her a while before they could try to induce. For me to be on the other side of the country, it was very stressful. We had grown pretty close throughout pregnancy, emailing almost daily. Now I felt so cut off. And scared! We were in this together! We were going to have our babies together! And if she's being induced that means her baby will be here any time. That means my baby could be here anytime! I'm not ready for that! So I teetered between wanting to know what was going on every minute and trying to give everyone up there some space and not bug them. My Mother in Law did a good job of giving me updates though. My SIL ended up having something much more serious than preeclampsia. They diagnosed with with a life threatening variant called HELLP Syndrome. I read up on it here. How scary! It was time to get the baby out as quiclky and safely as possible. They did try inducing her but she didn't progress fast enough, so my adorable niece was born by c-section while I was sound asleep in the middle of the night. I was thankful mommy and baby were both safe and healthy. It was stressful for me to be so far away though.
So my first birth buddy had a c-section. The one thing I am most terrified of. People say I'm brave for wanting to do things naturally. It doesn't feel brave to me. It feels normal. People having c-sections seem brave to me. That's terrifying. But I realized one thing when I found out my SIL was having problems- I'm more ok with it than I thought. I just kept waiting for them to do it so the baby was here. I thought that even if I was in a similar situation that I would be heartbroken and distraught about needing a c-section. But I had a peace about knowing that was the best thing for her. I know that sounds silly, to have a peace about someone else's birth, but it helped me realize that if I was in that situation, it wouldn't be as distraught or heartbroken as I thought. THAT is what doctors are for. Emergencies. That's what they do best. She was in the best possible place she could be. And while I still don't want to be forced into one unnecessarily, I know that if one becomes medically necessary, I will cope with that better than I thought.
Two weeks passed from my SIL's routine appointment that turned into a birth. My other birth buddy is an old friend who now works with me. My appointments are on Tuesdays, hers on Wednesdays. After my run of the mill appointments Tuesday, we joked about hers. How you're only there for a few minutes. How no one was going with her because she would just be in and out and there was nothing for anyone to be there for. Boring. Routine. So she goes in for her boring, routine, should be in and out appointment. The doctor's office was running behind so she texted that she wouldn't be back to work that afternoon. Not too long after that though, we found out her blood pressure was up and they were keeping her for observation. Still not that uncommon. They ended up telling her to be on bedrest for 24 hours and I believe had her doing a urine collection. Thursday was pouring down rain. I texted her to tell her she "picked" the perfect day to be on bedrest! I was jealous, haha. She had her appointment on Friday morning at 9. On Friday I texted her that I was anxiously awaiting an update. Not too long after, I received a text that the baby was born by emergency c-section at 8:30 that morning! What?! Panic set in again. Her baby's here. I'm the last one now. OMG. I'm not ready for this! And what happened last night?! I waited until I got home last night to check in. She said she went in around midnight because her blood pressure went up. They induced her but his heart rate dropped so they ended up doing a c-section. So crazy! Her blood pressure has been better than mine this whole time! Then all the sudden, bam! Baby! It still boggles my mind how fast you can go from normal and routine to an emergency situation.
So for me, I'm just trying to remain calm. On Wednesday, my feet decided they were done being normal. I now have seemingly permanent sausage feet. Trying to be thankful they waited this long. I have literally everything prepped that I can possibly think of, and then some! In the past few weeks I have:
- washed all the baby clothes, towels, sheets and blankets
- arranged and put away all the clothes
- cleaned, hung and put away everything in the nursery
- installed the car seat in my car
- installed a car seat base in Craig's truck
- put a waterproof cover on my mattress
- sent all the thank you cards for gifts we received
- put together the swing
- installed a walk through baby gate
- ensured she has warm clothes for our trip to Vermont in December
- put together her toy box
- had my car detailed
- made "padsicles"
- purchased extra pajamas to wear around the house while I recover
- had our house deep cleaned
- packed a bag complete with clothes, snacks and games for me
- packed a bag with clothes and diapers for Lorelai
- ordered and received my birth kit (stuff the midwife and I need for birth and delivery)
- packed the bags and birth kit into my car
And I even have a pedicure scheduled for this afternoon.
I think I've officially run out of prepping things to do.
And because I am SO prepped, she will not make an appearance for another 3 weeks, haha.
Seriously though, I've made no progress on the labor front. I'm skipping next week with the OB and only going to see my midwife. Seeing both of them every week is cumbersome. And redundant. It was crazy to get an appointment card that's after my due date though (for my next OB appointment).
So a common question I get now is "how long?" My answer is until it's no longer safe for her to be in there, or of course until she's ready. Whichever comes first. I won't make the call and neither will my OB. I'm leaving that in my midwife's hands. I sought out a midwife because I don't trust the medical profression to make an unbiased decision about my well being. I trust them 100% in an emergency situation. But doctors don't know what to do with healthy people. And while my OB has been very kind and understanding and lately even supportive, I still can't remove that seed of doubt that she would make a call that is convenient for her or easier or something she'd rather do, rather than what is medically necessary. I know, without a doubt, that if my midwife says it's time to go to the hospital, it's time to go to the hospital. I trust her to look out for me and the baby and if what's best is being induced at the hospital, than that's what we're going to do. Otherwise, I'm riding it out.
The longest my midwife ever had someone go is about 42 1/2 weeks, and she's made it clear that it makes her uncomfortable. BUT, if the baby is healthy, there's no reason to rush things. My OB has already started saying I need to think about "when" we make the call. I told my birth buddies that I don't like feeling like I'm already being pressured into making a decision about being induced when I'm not even full term yet. I told my OB and midwife that to me, the only way it ends if I'm induced is by c-section, especially if I haven't progressed any on my own. My midwife explained that there are some more gentle ways to induce than going straight to pitocin and should we end up having to go that route, my midwife would be there at the hospital acting as my doula and being sure that I'm treated and kindly and naturally as possible. If I get to 41 weeks, she wants a biophysical profile done to make sure the baby is ok. She said she's only ever had one person score kind of borderline on that test, but she still has to make sure baby's ok so we know if it's safe to continue the pregnancy. The OB has said there is medically no reason to let me go past 42 week. The baby has no more developing to do and will only gain weight which will make her bigger and harder to deliver (which I reminded her that the baby has been measuring small and I didn't see size as being an issue. hello, have you seen my hips! haha). BUT, she assured me that if the baby is ok, it's not necessarily a hard stop for her. I told her I thought doctors weren't allowed to let women go past 42 weeks or it was considered malpractice. She said it was more an issue of informed consent but if the baby's healthy, it's not a wall we can't cross. The bottom line is neither my OB or midwife are crazy about me going past 42 weeks, and it would likely be a very tense and highly monitored situation from both sides if we get there.
So why do I think we may have to worry about it? Well, I have had a healthy pregnancy (so far). The baby seems just fine where she's at. Overweight women just typically take longer to go into labor because their fat cells store estrogen and more estrogen just means it takes your body longer. So since I'm healthy and we're letting things progress naturally, it means I'm probably not going to be in the 5% of women who have their baby on their due date. I've known that from the beginning and am totally ok with that. I just want her here safely with as little medical intervention as possible. I feel like things will go a lot more smoothly if I go into labor on my own. So as you think of me over the next few days (weeks, haha), just pray that my body will do what it's designed to do and that she will come on her own.
One way or another, gummy bear will be a baby bear very soon.
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